For many of us it can take almost a lifetime to understand that we are in control of our destiny for the most part.
It has taken me nearly fifty years to realize that the word ‘can’t’ is (as my mother warned me) often a feeble excuse provoked by fear.
We humans are at the mercy of our health, of course, and when you witness the tragic events of last week, it’s hard not to believe that fate can have a terrible hand in our destiny too.
But in terms of what we make of ourselves, that’s fundamentally down to us.
And it’s not about genes or inherited talents for the most part. I believe that personal success is primarily about self-belief, passion, hard work and confidence – and the Law of Attraction.
‘If your ship doesn’t come in, swim to it.’
‘Making your own luck’ is something I have always tried to instil in my kids and it’s why I lose the plot when I watch them waste half the day in bed; just like I did all those years ago. I try not to rant too much about the hard work involved in success because I don’t want to scare them off, but I go on and on about proactivity and self-belief.
I lacked confidence as a child. I was timid, and had no discernible talents with which to shine or make my mark. I was average academically, and preferred to be Baby and stand in the corner with my mousey hair and long fringe that I used as a veil to wilt behind. Yet, I don’t remember feeling unhappy with my lot – other than bemoaning the fact that I had to work harder than everyone else for less reward.
But ‘progress’ prizes suck – take it from me.
I don’t remember there being as much pressure on my generation to ‘succeed’ in terms of making lots of money. We didn’t have ‘success’ rammed down our throats on a daily basis via social media and reality television. Happy families depicted on television, like ‘The Waltons’ and ‘The Brady Bunch’, represented ‘success’ to us. The people I aspired to be weren’t millionaires; they were more organic craftsmen such as writers, painters and designers. Perhaps even a princess or two.
In my professional life, I have been a jack-of-all-trades and master of none. I have done what needs to be done and with the added confidence attained from motherhood and having to find work to fit in with the family, I have faked it as an Interior Designer, Furniture Painter, teacher and real estate agent. And I have learned and evolved as a result of all those eclectic experiences. But although I have blagged my way through my professional life over the last few years and never earned much beyond the minimum wage, each role has had a definitive influence on my confidence, growth and who I have become.
For the last couple of years, I have faked it as a writer in my free time, which has been easy because I am passionate about the craft. Am I a successful writer? No. Would I like to be paid to write? Of course! I still try to gain some justification for my writing when I can find a window between writing the book, doing the day job and being the UN at home.
But whether I am ever published or paid to write is irrelevant really, because I truly believe that if I initiated the changes to enable myself to write for a living, I could do it.
Because I have the self-belief in my ability to write.
Which is why I believe that if you have ‘belief’ and passion and work hard, the talent will emerge and you can do anything you want to do. There are so many examples out there of human success stories that have come from the gritty determination of normal people to follow their dreams.
I never believed that I would amount to very much when I was a child. To be honest, all I really wanted was to be happy. But as I approach middle-age, I want more than that now. It’s probably got something to do with that thing called ‘maturity’ everyone warned me about.
I want to succeed in my passion for ‘ME’ and I will make it happen.
This is such a great post and I so relate to it. The only person one can control is themselves. I learned early you can’t control anyone or most things, just your attitude to them. Also that the harder I work, the luckier I get. I reckon in most cases too, which family you are born into, does influence how you achieve in life to some degree. I think with maturity you get better at realising the potential of opportunities that come your way too. Saying ‘yes I can’ is a good way to be successful. It a good first step anyway. Then you just have to damn well do it.
Carolyn.
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I agree about the family you are born into and the opportunities and education that enables. And the hurdle is definitely moving from saying ‘yes’ to action.
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You are the only one that can make yourself happy and decide your fate, and now you are doing it. Enjoy every moment!
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The law of attraction is incredibly powerful. Many people doubt it, but it is one of the only constants in this world. Great post.
Erik
http://erikconover.com
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Isn’t it funny how it takes years of life for many of us to acknowledge that it’s okay to be who we are, warts & all. Great post!
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Remember how when we were teenagers we thought our parents ‘wisdom’ was a load of bullshit?
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Yeah, they had no f#@king idea what that were talking about. Right?
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Interesting how much smarter our parents become as we get older!
You can make it as a writer if that is what you truly desire. You have the first part down–you believe you can. That is the biggest hurdle for most people.
Sometimes it is difficult to know what the next step is in order to achieve our dreams.
Yes, we must take action, but not necessarily do we have to “work hard” in order to have success. Often when we are working really hard it is because we are not listening to our internal wisdom which will guide us to the smoother path.
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