- Panty liners and wet wipes – for when you sneeze, cough, laugh or have to jump on a trampoline to pretend you like little kids (and trampolines) at a family kid’s party.
- Thick foundation – to cover those break-outs of middle-aged acne or Rosacea triggered by all that intense
red wine drinkingexercise you’ve done recently.
- A timer – to make sure you don’t digress from your daily routine of a) pajamas by 3pm b) wine by 5pm, and c) bed by 9pm.
- Earplugs – so you can’t hear him when he begs for sex, mansplains or wants a money conversation.
- Aldi trolley coin – because one day… they will bring their Churros back.
- A backpacker’s expanding travel towel -for hot flushes.
- Spanx – in case you bump into another soulmate.
- Tweezers – for those rogue hairs that sprout when you’re away from home and are nurtured by office lighting.
- A pacifier – to remind you that life isn’t that bad.
- Snacks – for those hunger emergencies in between snacks.
- A hip flask – for your morning gin.
- A mini fan – because…menopause.
- Perfume – because you might be invisible, but you can still knock them dead with your scent.
- Condom – because you just never know
- Valium – In case there’s nowhere to buy coffee.
What have I missed?