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I know you hate me talking about sex, but here’s a bit of frivolity for the weekend…


  1. ‘Remind me where the dog goes?’


  1. ‘But it’s after 9 O’clock!’


3.‘I’ve got this new pair of support knickers you’re gonna love…’


4.The problem with peri-menopause is that you just never know when your period’s                  gonna turn up…’


5.‘I knew those pulses and beans were a bad idea…’


6.‘If you need Viagra tonight, that’s absolutely fine…’ 


7.‘Okay if I just lie here and watch the gymnastics while you get on with it?’


8. ‘And I was about to give you full control of the remote all evening…’


9.‘I think I pulled my vagina at the gym…’


10.‘Bit hairy I know, but I forgot we were out of winter…’


11.‘Let’s do some role-play. You’re Poldark reaping corn…


12. ‘That sounds like the kids…’


13.‘I’m pretty sure I can’t get pregnant any more…’


14.‘Or we could watch a western, action-packed Netflix series with lots of car chases and              gratuitous violence?’


15. ‘Do I really have to take my yoga pants off…’


16. ‘Five minutes is long enough, isn’t it?’