What Being A Middle-Aged Woman Really Means

Andi Schreiber bravely went where no middle-aged woman has gone before, recently. She photographed what being middle-aged really means to her in a series of her own personalised photos:

 

Ten Stunning Photos That Prove Women At Middle Age Are Anything But Invisible

 

This is my visual interpretation of what being a middle-aged woman means to me:

 

Chocolate plays a strategic role in our well-being…

 

There are carbs for when we’re feeling up… 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And carbs for when we’re feeling down…

Carbs are our friends!

And both types of carb are infinitely more enjoyable when washed down with a good wine or Champagne. Science has proved that this combination of the food groups has the nutritional benefit of helping middle-aged women cope with life’s unexpected struggles.

 

Like teenagers and marriage.

 

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/129748399

 

Then there are the obvious physical issues of middle age to cope with, such as gravity…

Woman breasts. Work by Dutch artist Peter Klashorst. (Photo credit: Wikipedi

 

 

 

 

 

and fugliness issues such as wrinkles…

The call them ‘laughter lines’ to be kind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and being as blind as a fucking bat.

 

And we have to wear looser clothes to accommodate our growing muffin tops, our shoes get flatter and our undies get REALLY MASSIVE.

Comfort is the buzz-word of middle age.

 

Big knickers are hugely underrated in my opinion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And in spite of all these wonderful changes that happen to our lifestyle and our bodies, sometimes we middle-aged women can feel a little hormonal…

 

Rocking in the foetal position is an excellent yoga pose for the middle-aged woman when she’s stressed.

Get a bit hot and bothered…

 

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/84955537





Although strangely, not when we should be feeling hot and bothered.

 

Sometimes we get so hot and bothered we want to kill the prime cause, which is usually our partners, and we actually hear that music from Psycho playing in our ears…

 

 

Especially when they are men of the common, ‘hopeless and disappointing’ variety…

 

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/115468207