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If you answered that question with a resounding ‘ME’, read on.

There’s always so much gumpf in the media about how women look, or should look.

English: Dita Von Teese photographed by Steve ...

English: Dita Von Teese photographed by Steve Diet Goedde (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The great news for women this week was that pubes are making a comeback – but according to an article in the UK’s Daily Mail recently, The Female Fashion Trends Men Hate, we women are still getting it horribly wrong with our fashion choices.

Apparently, we thought that men liked us looking like hookers in low-cut leopard print dresses, crop tops, mini skirts and fuck-me slingback shoes.

But they don’t…

EVEN WORSE, men thought that we actually care what they think.

According to the survey, men actually want us to look more demure, more girl-next-door… more like our mothers (!) or Kate Middleton or Princess Mary.

Which I find surprising, because I wouldn’t say that those women are the obvious role models for young women today. Surely, they are more likely to be influenced by Kim Kardashian, Lady GaGa or Katy Perry, who all seem super comfortable about exposing flesh? And they certainly don’t seem to have a problem when it comes to attracting men.

Someone should tell Miley though. Her decision to flash her labia recently as a fashion accessory in a barely-there body suit was a misinformed piece of advice from her management.

The thing is, women don’t actually dress for men, do we?

Admittedly, I’m going to sleep much better at night knowing that men prefer women to look ‘natural’, and the fact that I don’t have to change the blade on my razor is a real bonus. But this is bad news for cosmetic manufacturers and hair stylists who play on the fact that we women feel better about ourselves when they have ‘work ’ and their ‘faces son.’

If I’d known men prefer ‘the girl next door’ type, I wouldn’t have bunions on my feet from high heels, straw-like hair from over-dyeing, and orange striped legs. I quite liked being a bit ‘mousey’ back when it was acceptable to be ‘natural’. I felt comfortable with my natural hair colour, porcelain skin, ‘mumsy’ dresses and flat shoes.

I’m a bit confused now. Richard Gere was attracted to Julia Roberts in a mini skirt and high top leather boots, wasn’t he?

And historically we’ve been told that short skirts are provocative, trampy and dangerous because THAT’S WHAT MEN LIKE!

Should I start wearing Laura Ashley to get laid now?

No, I don’t actually believe that women are looking to score a man every time they look in their wardrobe.

Fashion is a form of self-expression, not a pick-up tool.

I like clothes that I feel good in, because they suit my body and my mood. Some days I want to own that leopard print crop top, on other days I want to be Audrey Hepburn. My clothes tell a story about me. They help tell the world who I am. Some men may respond to the conformity and classicism of a Laura Ashley dress, but there are others who see experimentation with fashion as symbolic of creativity and confidence.

Actress Julia Roberts in May 2002.

Actress Julia Roberts in May 2002. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And maybe…hopefully… ultimately… men are attracted to what’s inside those clothes?

I know that Prince Charming only fancied Cinderella in her ball dress and Richard Gere preferred Julia after her make-over – but we all need a little bit of help sometimes.

Just like men do. How they can still believe that we like low-slung trousers, I have no idea.

I’m certain that Kate Middleton wears leopard print lingerie in private and Princess Mary didn’t end up with the royal Brady bunch wearing cottontails.

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